Every leader has patterns. Patterns such as ways of responding, ways of coping or ways of deciding.
Most of these patterns were formed long before you held a title. You didn’t consciously choose them but you carry them into every room.
Where Patterns Come From
Our patterns develop over time from a variety of sources. Some come from early achievements: being the reliable one, the fixer, the calm one or the high performer. Other patterns develop through stress such as avoiding conflict, overpreparing, controlling details, or withdrawing when overwhelmed. Even others come from identity, navigating being underestimated, proving credibility or holding emotional responsibility for others.
Regardless of where or how these patterns developed, over time they become automatic and what’s automatic can feel like personality. However, oftentimes, it’s protection.
Why this Matters in Leadership
Under pressure or stress, we have a tendency to default to our patterns. Not to our values or to our vision. But to our patterns.
If your pattern is over-functioning, you’ll carry too much.
If your pattern is avoidance, you’ll delay hard conversations or difficult decisions.
If your pattern is proving, you’ll overwork.
If your pattern is peacekeeping, you’ll blur boundaries.
None of these make you a bad leader, but unconscious patterns can make leadership reactive, rather than leadership that’s sound.
Being aware of these types of patterns and how they surface in various situations is essential to understand before being able to address them and strengthen internal leadership.
One way to gain awareness of these patterns, is to ask “What pattern was activated?” instead of “Why did I do that?”
Notice how you respond: do you tighten up, do you rush, are you overcompensating, do you go quiet?
Patterns are not flaws; they are information that, once recognized, gives you choice, and choice is the beginning of self-trust.