Have you ever been in situations where you feel triggered? Perhaps a colleague’s behavior triggers you? Reacted to a piece of feedback?
We often experience triggers as evidence that something is wrong, and we think of them as something to avoid since they’re usually something we associate with negatively (eg, a difficult conversation).
But what if a trigger isn't a problem? What if it's information?
What a Trigger Actually Reveals
A trigger is simply a moment when something inside us gets activated. The situation itself may be relatively small. Yet our reaction feels disproportionate. Perhaps a colleague questions your decision and you become unusually defensive. Maybe someone misses a deadline and your frustration lingers long after the issue is resolved. Perhaps you receive constructive feedback and spend the rest of the day replaying it in your mind.
The external event matters. But the intensity of the reaction often points to something deeper.
Triggers reveal where our values, fears, identities, expectations, or past experiences intersect with the present moment. They show us where our internal landscape deserves attention.
Why Leaders Often Miss the Signal
Many leaders are conditioned to move quickly. Solve the problem. Address the issue. Get back to work.
But when we move too quickly past our reactions, we miss valuable information.
Instead of asking: Why am I so upset? Try asking: What is this reaction trying to tell me?
The goal isn't to justify the reaction. The goal is to understand it.
Curiosity Creates Choice
One of the most powerful shifts in leadership happens when we replace judgment with curiosity.
Instead of: "I shouldn't feel this way." Try: "What's underneath this?"
Instead of: "Why can't I let this go?" Try: "What feels threatened right now?"
That simple shift creates space. And space creates choice.
A Different Way to View Triggers
A trigger might reveal:
A value that feels compromised
A fear of failure
A need for approval
A boundary that hasn't been expressed
An old story that no longer serves you
When viewed through that lens, triggers become teachers. Not because they're comfortable but because they're informative.
The Practice
The next time you feel a strong emotional reaction, pause before analyzing the situation.
Ask yourself:
What am I feeling?
What feels important here?
What part of my identity is activated?
What is this reaction pointing toward?
Internal leadership isn't about eliminating triggers. It's about learning from them.
The more information you gather about yourself, the less likely you are to be unconsciously driven by what you haven't yet understood.